The long, grueling, nocturnal life as a college girl is done, and I don’t even know how to go on through life without crying and smiling from ear to ear simultaneously. The past three years felt like an old, broken down bateau was steadily pulling me through a thick, gator invested marsh while bystanders stood along the bayou and shot BB guns in my direction.
I could use a week or two in a lock down intensive care unit with a constant flow of fluids and vitamins pushing through my veins.
Will botox take away the damage three years of sleepless nights left on my face?
Deciding to go back to school was one of the scariest decisions of my life. For whatever reason, I didn’t think I was worthy. I had this notion that school required an elite level of tenacity, talent and smarts. I didn’t realize an education is what gives you that. I remember driving to enroll back in school three years ago. The vivid image of me pulling over on the side of the road because I was too intimidated will forever haunt me. Who was I?
I barely recognize that girl.
Going back to school was the first endeavor I’ve ever seen all the way through. It was the first time in my life I said, “this is what I want” and got it.
An education has taught me more than I ever thought I could learn, which suddenly makes the thought of my $60,000 in student loans seem like the most frugal and vital investment of my life. It taught me that I have a voice, even if no one ever wants to listen. School taught me to live for myself, It taught me to dream, and it made me realize I never want to stop learning.
I never want to think I peaked.
A productive life is like running a steady incline. Sometimes your legs feel like jello, and walking down hill would be the easiest 180 degree turn you’d ever make… But I hope to never reach a top. Because where else do you go? Hopefully I can learn how to slow down and enjoy the parts of the road that level off a bit before the next hurtle. Hopefully I learn to push through so the incline keeps growing into something bigger than we’ve ever dreamed.
Because isn’t the alternative so much more daunting?
It’s been real, UC. Thanks for the adventure.